Category: Mens Counselling

Relationships

Published on by Tony KaneLeave a comment

“A true relationship is two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other”

Relationships can be defined in many ways, but one thing is for sure, we want to enjoy each other’s company, enjoy our own lives within the relationship, and for the relationship to have meaning with positive outcomes. But how do we define a romantic relationship when we find ourselves entering into one? How do we develop a relationship with the depth and love we are so passionately looking for and wanting to experience? The first step is to admit that this – the relationship – is what you want; you’ve been hardwired for this from birth. The second step is to have a good look at yourself to discover how you define yourself and any limiting beliefs that aren’t going to add to the beauty and growth of the relationship.

All relationships require some sort of depth to succeed, and none more so than the romantic relationship. We can think we have depth and actually have none or we can search within ourselves for the depth we actually are and bring that depth to the table of love to be feasted upon. Without the depth of self, love is nothing but a thought and shallow in its expression; how can a relationship endure any hardship within that shallowness – it can’t and won’t. But it is during these hardships that depth can be discovered and the relationship exhumed from the ashes and reignited.

The only way a deep sense of love can be presented within a relationship is for each person to discover their own depth and understanding of themselves, which takes a bit of effort, a time of separation and aloneness; to use this time of aloneness and rediscover the self that actually exists, in contrast to the mask-wearing self. The ‘mask-wearer’ will always hide their depth behind a wall of fear. At some stage the mask has to be wrenched off if that person is to live in all honesty and without fear; the expression of love will come easier and more intimate as love recognizes itself within.

“Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It is for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It is for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough”

Within a successful relationship, one or both persons will have developed a sense of self that is confident, welcoming and open to discovering change; it only needs one to make the change which has a flow-on effect to the other. The relationship becomes dynamic, purposeful with positive outcomes but not without its trials, which are normal and provide the opportunity for growth and change. Mutual respect for the time given to self-reflection is honoured; knowing full well that this time of separation and distance is fleeting in comparison to the quality time spent together. The depth in which we understand and love ourselves will be the benchmark in which the relationship will experience the freedom and passion of love.

Finally, here’s something to think about, contemplate and understand: the freedom experienced within a relationship is a gift it can only give to itself. Freedom is a gift not experienced by many in relationships these days; the freedom experienced within each person, as a part of their internal confidence and self-reliance, will be only one of the gifts of love to the other. In the final analysis of a successful relationship, it rests upon each person discovering their own individual way of expressing the love that they are and offering it as a unique gift at the banquet table of the relationship; know thyself is bottom line.

Love

Love is the being in each of us which in turn produces feelings of joy, happiness, togetherness, intimacy, abundance, and trust. Having an awareness of being love promotes healthy trust, forgiveness, mutual respect, and interdependence (as opposed to co-dependence), which is far more productive and honouring toward each other – enabling each partner to be their authentic, loving, transparent and creative self within the relationship.

The awareness of being love with each other promotes, quite naturally, the ability to be love for each other when the going gets tough. The ability to serve and nurture becomes the dominant focus without interfering with the others journey of life and independence.

The Truth of being love is that it is enduring and can never fail.

4 Hacks to Increase the Depth of Meditation and get the Results

Published on by Tony Kane

Introduction

Those of us that have started a practice of meditation have probably experienced this: we earnestly restart a meditation practice when we perceive we begin to suffer whilst going through some sort of turmoil. We fall back into a trusted experience – hopefully! Eventually we breathe a sigh of relief when we move through that which is bothering us and – forget to practice because life begins to beckon us back to a run of thoughts again! We know – don’t we – we’ve lost our focus! We all have these times.

Years ago, when I first started meditation, I found it the hardest thing to do – to stop thought. But then I realized that none of us can stop it; the brain is there to process thoughts and there’s no way you can stop it from doing its job. I soon learned from my teacher that all we can do is learn to ‘observe’ them without any emotion or judgment attached. You see, I learned that the mind is NOT the brain – but is has a symbiotic relationship with it.

If you take the time to think about it, the mind isn’t physical; it is intangible or can’t be seen. But here’s the interesting point, the you that you are is the mind. When you are looking through your eyes – it is you – the mind – making use of the physical function of sight.

The fact is, just like learning to play an instrument, it takes practice. During the beginning stages of a meditation practice, you will without doubt find it hard – but anything worth experiencing is worth putting the work in to make it happen; in this case it’s a no brainer! Here’s a little hint: practice meditation until you can break the 30 minute barrier. And by this I mean that you should work toward being the observer for as long as you can until you break 30 minutes. Remember: the observer doesn’t think! It just observes! Once you’ve broken the 30 minute barrier, watch what happens when you break through an hour. If you don’t think you have the time then ask yourself this question: “Do I want a day that’s going to be relatively easy or do I want my day to be shambolic?”

IF you are using meditation as a tool to feel good – you’ve missed the point of it and you will just come back to the default setting before you started. You must learn to be the observer first up.

4 tips to help you shift into a higher gear of meditation:

1)      Use a Journal

This may sound a bit crazy, but yes, you can step out of a meditation to write down an idea you have received. Again, if you think about it, it’s just like observing a thought and deciding whether to entertain it or not, putting it aside to go back into practice being the observer within the meditation. Or you can write down your experience after.

The reason I say keep a meditation journal is really quite simple.

  1. If you have difficulty meditating, you can use the journal to remind you of the previous experience. Use it as a motivational tool.
  2. You may want to continue meditating and enlarging the idea you received in a previous meditation. This may be to aide you in business decisions or for whatever you are going through in your day to day life experience.
  3. You can use the journal to write down questions you wish to ask your ‘self’. This is an interesting part of meditation. If you are ever stuck in an experience during the normal run of the day, you can receive the answer. And you will know it is the correct answer by the way your physical self feels; there will be no question about it, in which case you need to action it as quickly and as practically as possible. If you feel fear at any stage, go back to the mind in meditation and sort it out. Ask questions.

These are the three main reasons but there are probably more you can think of. It’s up to you as an individual to use your journal for whatever you wish. I can’t impress it strongly enough, though, to have a journal and use it often.

2)      Break through the timer

Whether you’re in the habit of using a timer or not, each time you meditate, try to extend it in length of time; the benefits are enormous. If you’re new to meditation you may have difficulty maintaining focus over a long period but this is what meditation is all about; you are flexing and strengthening the mind muscle which will have greater results for you in life the more often you practice. Start with 5 minutes then reach to 10 and keep adding another 5 minutes each time you meditate; the task is then simple.

3)      Feel free to experiment and ask your ‘self’ questions

One of the greatest things about meditation is that it is ‘open-minded’; this means that you can quite literally go anywhere and do anything within it, which makes it interesting and fun. You have your own ‘gps’ or guidance system; as you meditate and find yourself in that relaxed state, ask yourself a question (it could be anything – from a simple task to a challenge you are attempting to complete), and then let it go. ‘Put it out there’ in other words. There is no doubt the answer will come to you and in most cases when you’re least expecting it. Again, you will know it’s the answer because it will hit you fairly quickly and it will just come out of nowhere without any emotion attached. Either as a fun experiment or in a moment of seriousness – just do it!

4)      Small meditation breaks

During the course of the day whether busy or not, I pull myself aside and meditate for 5 to 10 minutes (but often that 5 to ten minutes may get extended to 30 minutes). Essentially, you are giving your brain a break and reconnecting with your ‘self’ (the mind). Just as food is for the body, meditation is another way of recharging your system. You could even just do a breathing meditation for as long as it takes to make and have a coffee.

How quickly will I see results?

This is completely dependent upon how often you meditate; realistically you would not want to take any days off, remember you are attempting to create another positive habit here.

In most cases the most profound changes don’t take place during meditation at all; you will notice the changes in your experience of everyday life. Outside of meditation, you will need to be more ‘mindful’ which means that you are focused on what you are doing ‘within the present moment’; this is a natural state of mind gained from meditation. Mindfulness is really a meditation while you are doing your everyday stuff, with your eyes open. The practice of meditation, then, ekes into your life consequently becoming a quality of your new life-style.

The results of meditation will come through as ideas, pictures in the imagination, physical balance and grounding (you will physically and emotionally feel balanced). These are only some of the ways in which you see the results. Another is the feeling of inspiration; you will be and feel inspired to complete something or start something new; it could be anything but when this happens, don’t question it just do it. If it is good and wholesome for yourself and others and there is no way you can get it out of your head…make preparations and do it. Again, if there are more questions you need to ask before the ‘doing’ go inside first or you may want to discuss it with others who have a solid meditation practice.

Whether you are new or an old hand at meditation, never give up the time and opportunity for even a 10 minute meditation break. You will feel and experience the results as long as you commit and put your time and effort into a consistent meditation practice.

Meditation is for the Mind

Published on by Tony Kane

 Let’s have a decent look at this. We’ve heard a lot about the relaxing calmness that meditation can bring to your world, but some people complain that it is short lived; there’s a good reason for that – you’ve lost your focus. Again, some people get who get caught up in the teachings of the ‘Law of Attraction’ or the ‘ability to manifest at will’ complain they don’t manifest their desires and end up back where they started or worse – again you’ve lost your focus – and (this is the big one) you haven’t followed through with the work. And one more example, I’ve heard complaints that some people who are trying to control negative thinking or discover silence of the mind, after a short spurt of success, only go back to their original pattern of thinking or the noise persists; and again I would say that you haven’t followed through physically or you haven’t maintained your focus.  You can’t remain calm, relaxed and peaceful if you don’t follow through with the physical work of ‘being’ calmed, relaxed and peaceful; your body needs to be shown how it works and get used to it. And you can’t control thought or remain silent unless you have focus.

There a many reasons why anyone would want to begin the practice of meditation, but in my (almost) 30 years of practicing it, I’ve managed to recognize that there are 3 major focal points (or intentions) to apply in meditation to begin with.

1) To Discover the Mind and its silence: most people believe the mind thinks. It doesn’t; it is that part of you that provides thought dependent upon what it is focused; otherwise the mind is silent and observes thought. Once it becomes focused upon a thought it will begin to guide your body into completing that series of thoughts or thought. It also uses your 5 senses to observe and experience the outside world and then decides to either join in with it or just remain observant to it or detached from it. The Mind is reliant upon the body to complete and express whatever it is focused upon and the body is reliant upon the mind to guide it in its desired experiences.

2) To strengthen focus and will: the strength of mind is dependent upon its focus and will power. These two terms have been taken out of context in that, it has been inferred in the past that we have to force our minds to think in a certain way. This is only true if you haven’t used meditation correctly – and, by the way – it is short lived. As soon as you enter into the thought and feeling of “I have to” you’ve not only put stress upon your physical body, but your mind will reject it based upon the reaction it gets from the physical body.

Focus of the mind means to allow your inner gaze to remain fixed upon a desired thought or idea; then will power cuts in, when your gaze becomes interrupted by a distraction; and those distractions can be extremely strong! As an example, have you ever started a project you really were keen to get completed only to be swayed from your original intent and became frustrated with yourself when you realize you hadn’t completed it? It could have been something very easy and simple but the distraction got the better of you. No need to get lost in the frustration – just bring yourself back to the project until you have successfully completed it – reward yourself and feel the elation. The power of the will is gentle and reminding. When we talk of the ‘power’ as such, we tend to think and feel of something that has ‘power’ over something but in this case it’s not correct to see it this way. The power of will is the ability of the mind to bring itself back to its intent; or it can be seen as the mind reminding itself of its intent.

The same can be applied in the form of meditation; you can focus your mind on some ‘thing’ (a candle or anything will do – try an insect, that’s an interesting one) or something in your imagination, with the intention of being fully focused upon it without taking any notice of your thoughts about that thing. Or you could focus your mind upon a positive thought without allowing any other thought to interfere. You may notice your attention being arrested by a noise outside or another thought; your will allows you to gently come back to the minds original intention. You don’t have to force it; you only have to practice it. The best way is to practice it in meditation and then practice it physically – do something with your mind fully focused upon the job at hand until completion and/or success. Yes it all sounds too easy, and it is – with practice.

3) To discover the real and authentic self (Mind, Body & Spirit): Everybody has been looking for that certain something that makes the difference in their lives. Life has become difficult and fast with digital technology the way it is. Depression and anxiety have hit a high, suicides are abundant, drug taking and alcoholism is epidemic amongst the many other mental conditions being diagnosed. And in all this people are looking for answers not only for others but for themselves too. The problem occurs when we begin to look outside of ourselves to find those answers. Some look for God, some others look for inspiration from others or try to become someone else, all of which only lasts a certain time, but many don’t even bother looking for anything and become complacent puppets and wonder why they are being pushed around.

To discover the real self is to discover your mind first, then it will naturally point itself to the body and heart (the authenticity of yourself physically). The ‘something’ that is going to make the difference is the mind. It is the most powerfully dynamic part of you that once focused and used correctly, will give you any experience you want. You can’t find yourself outside but you most definitely will on the inside.

The Nature of Life and Meditation

Published on by Tony Kane

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“Life is when we exist to observe and enjoy the beauties of nature; meditation is when we observe the beauties of the observer”

If we are at all serious about the wholeness of life, and by that I mean by not reducing it with philosophy, a religion or by being stuck within the knowledge of what we think we know – and by knowledge I mean everything that appears to be ‘logical’ or brain centered – if we are at all serious about living life observing and enjoying the beauty of nature and ourselves, entering within it, understanding it without drawing a conclusion upon any part of it including the color of skin, race or creed, monetary status, etc, – for nature and life itself doesn’t make a distinction between any of this –  if we are at all serious about the life we desire to live, and the wholeness it provides outside of all the fads, being tossed from pillar to post trying to look as good as anyone else, or trying to live within a mask of happiness and contentment – and by that I mean when we present ourselves as one thing in society but are another in the privacy of our homes – if we are at all serious about living our own lives in all truth, honesty and integrity, we’d be more concerned with our own actions, our own ways of thinking and our own ways of living the life we are gifted with.

To understand life one must, at the very least, attempt to understand self or the one living it; to observe our own actions, our own ways of thinking, our own feelings, and emotions which will eventually bring us to ask more questions of ourselves; to ask those questions within ourselves and – listen very carefully. This, of course, is the meditation that will enhance our lives; to become self-aware and conscious of what makes us tick. But that’s just the beginning because when we observe the self we currently are, we may begin to either like or dislike what we see. We can then become trapped within our own judgments upon ourselves either good or bad, but it makes no difference; none of what we observe is the silence, the enlightenment, the intelligence and motivation of what we really are; what we are observing is the subject and not the observer. And this is the nature of meditation; to live and experience being the observer of life; emotions, thoughts, and actions – to enter into a higher understanding and the higher intelligence of mind and heart.

My recent experiences within the meditations of my ‘self’ have led me to a query of the observer and the self being observed. I became aware of a quote I had read a few years ago as it came back to my memory as if to be a reminder and a pointer directing me to another depth, stripping away another layer of belief and fantasy.

 “The observer is observed” – Krishnamurti

Again, being an avid participant of meditation and using it to open up the mind within which there is a type of intelligence all of its own (unique, knowing and understanding itself) – and to be honest a type of madness to those who have not experienced it – the above quote made a lot of sense. To try to understand it with intellect alone is quite difficult – everyone knows that the observer and the observed need to be separate otherwise it cannot work. It works hand in hand with another quote, which comes to mind while I write, “An eye is not an eye because you see it; it is an eye because it sees you”. A beautiful understanding of meditation if there ever was; as you enter into the experience of meditation and observe yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally,  you soon become aware of something else looking back at you. This takes a bit of focus but that is what meditation is all about; to learn to focus an otherwise unruly mind, wasting itself upon the past and future that don’t exist and bringing it into the present moment, which is the only point in time that does exist. In the initial stages of learning to meditate, you are, or become aware, or have the perception, that you (in your physical-ness) are observing yourself, and you become comfortable with that. As you progress, you will become aware that not only are you observing yourself but that you are actually ‘the observer’; there is a definite distinction between the two in which the observer cannot be ‘the observed’ – you have rediscovered a hidden part of you that holds a lot of motivation and profound wisdom but, also, it is quiet but powerful in its silence; you experience a higher intelligence coming from your depth.

And yet again, as your experience in meditation increases and your mind becomes more focused, another progression is realized; within that progression, you become conscious and very aware that your mind is not what you initially understood it to be – the progressions of meditation and the will to focus begins to present to you that you really are your mind (the observer) unfettered by the demands (the perceived needs and wants) of the body. You begin to initiate an understanding that you are now experiencing yourself as you once were before the influx of error-ridden education and misunderstanding of the life experiences you have survived up until now. All the trauma and negative experiences make sense with the mind intelligently making use of that knowledge – this is but an initial rebirthing of your ‘self’; in a sense, it is an experience of a new ‘you’, but in reality, it is the return home – to the real you, the unconditioned mind.

As if that wasn’t enough already, there is yet another progression. Which brings me back to the quote at the top of the page “Life is when we exist to observe and enjoy the beauties of nature; meditation is when we observe the beauties of the observer”. This progression is sometimes seen as the final one, whilst still living in your body – the one in which you receive an understanding that even though you are the observer but you, as the observer, are also being observed. Life becomes the meditation and meditation ceases to exist; it is superfluous and unnecessary.

Within this progression, the mind you are experiencing dissolves into nothingness; you become life and life lives through you, unhindered and unfettered by the desire to reason with it; you trust it profoundly because you are the trust of yourself. You cease to want and try to explain your experience of it; you are it and that’s all that matters because nothing matters. The experience of love, for example, is unspeakable and a return to the ‘old ways’ is not on the table for negotiation – you attract that which you now are and settle for nothing less. Silence becomes the teacher, as the teacher becomes silent. The experience of being the creation and the creator itself; you are one with it all.

There is a scripture from the bible which is a favorite of mine that makes so much sense of this phase or progression, please read it and understand the profound truth hidden within it.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,

I have become a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy,

And understand all mysteries and all knowledge,

And though I have all faith, so that I could move mountains,

But have not love,

I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor,

And though I give my body to be burned,

But have not love

It profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind;

Love does not envy;

Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own,

Is not provoked, thinks no evil;

Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the Truth;

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Try as hard as you might, the explanation of it all becomes an arduous task; it seems the language you speak is not intelligent to those who want to understand it or want to understand you. The language you speak is of your heart and soul and understood by, maybe, the few who have taken the time to understand their selves, but know this well, you will be misunderstood by many. It is within these times you know there will be a time for silence and a time for speech but you will be measured upon your action; your life will be the explanation and only the fewest of words necessary if any at all. You, the love you are, will never fail you even as it recognizes itself in another. Resilience is one thing, but endurance – yes, endurance – is your best ally whilst experiencing this phase of the meditation of life. It becomes you – and it becomes easier.

Visit Unconditioned Mind Masterclass   contact Tony now for more information on meditation and mindfulness

If you desire to know more of the processes of Mindfulness please contact Tony through the email form below. Or for Mindfulness Workshops please follow this link: Mindfulness Workshops

 

 

Consider Yourself Well

Published on by Tony Kane

I confess I am fascinated by humans and the human mind; what it is, and what it is the mind is capable of producing – how it expresses itself through the human form.

Life can be missed by living a life of self-induced internal and natural drug addiction (emotion) and for that matter, the addiction of external drugs; believing that the feel-good or feel-bad is all there is to life, but it certainly is motivation worthy of careful consideration.

As you are led to judge a person addicted to an external form of inducement of feeling (illicit drugs and prescription drugs) consider your own addiction to the internal drug (emotion) of your own choice. Consider yourself well, before laying down judgment upon those you consider different or weird; their expression of life is their own and just as authentic as yours in whatever form it takes. They may very well know and understand more about the life you pretend to live – in fact, it’s almost certain that this is the case.

It’s in your own human mind that you discover the balance of life; through the thoughts, emotions, and feelings you experience. Consider your own thoughts and judge them well. It’s within your own open and free mind that you discover the freedom of life. Consider yourself well – before you lay down judgment upon another.

Mindfulness – The Placebo that Isn’t

Published on by Tony Kane

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I was recently involved in a discussion that took a turn into something in which I was being judged for what I know within myself to be a ‘truth’ about life and, in fact, about my existence and purpose for being here. A fair bit of my life has been in the search for something that religion had taught me was only for a select few, and couldn’t really believe in. During this search, I have discovered many things but the most beneficial has been the processes and practice of mindfulness and meditation and the benefits of them psychologically, spiritually and physically. The unfortunate transition that has taken place in the western world is that Mindfulness has been used as a placebo in the treatment for a lot of mental and physical issues, and although I believe this is a great thing because all scientific evidence is proving beyond any doubt that it works, it still remains a placebo.

When I come back to the discussion that took place, I felt as if I was being harshly judged for even trying to discover ‘truth’ in whatever form it may take and had to prove and disclose a valid reason for doing so, but there’s an upside to this; after sitting down and replaying the discussion, I realized the proof and valid reason was myself and there was no point in even trying to supply what the other person was asking for or even remain connected to the sense of doubt that the discussion provided, even for a very short period of time. Which brings me to another point: the doubt provided me with the knowledge that I knew my ‘self’ well with the proof and validity not being necessary – and there was and is no doubt about that!

So, I asked my ‘self’ “Why go to the trouble of writing this?” Because I have become aware and concerned that the term ‘Mindfulness” and the practice of meditation to discover the truth about ones ‘self’ has been subverted and downplayed by those who wish to keep the reality of mindfulness to a minimum, and make no mistake, there are those out there who see it within themselves to do just that. You see, the other person’s understanding of mindfulness was limited but only due to what has been taught by those who know nothing or extremely little about it in the first place or….have only used it as a band-aid/placebo, and I feel for this person; the point of meditation and mindfulness has been missed by a country mile.

Mindfulness and the meditations that bring about a state of peace and calm are not about the healings it can bring; the healings are a fantastic by-product but they are not, should not and, in fact, never have been the focus of meditation and mindfulness in their purity. Don’t get me wrong, if that’s all you are looking for then that’s all you will get and if that makes you happy, then knock yourself out, it’s ok; you are experiencing the effect. But mindfulness and the meditations practiced within it have the effect of taking you further into yourself so the placebo effect ceases to exist; you learn to become the thing that is doing the healing; your confidence and knowledge about your ‘self’ become true and effective; you become the cause of the effect, and so the healings are permanent.

Now, I’m wondering, isn’t that the truth of ‘self’ anyone wants to get to know and become? Yes, truth is something to search for if you know where to look and you are passionate enough about it;  it exists inside you and you realize there is no other place to look.

Then, again, I wander back to the discussion that took place, and the question of ‘energy’ was raised. I know that in the greater scheme of things that this is yet another ‘truth’ of self that can be discovered using the correct teachings of mindfulness and the meditations used to bring about a state of ‘oneness’ and harmony with life. How do I know? I experience it daily…and, for the sake of those desiring it, it is proven scientifically! The question of ‘being energy’ and becoming one with it has been a point of discussion for centuries but during this discussion, I became aware of being ridiculed behind the not so hidden smirk. But like I mentioned, it wasn’t until after I replayed the discussion later that I became aware of any of this. Why was I the target of such hidden ridicule? Because I teach it, I believe it; actually, more than anything, I understand it and live it, and because I do, I don’t live life the way other’s think I should do and therefore become something and someone they don’t fully understand but that’s only because they don’t take the same amount of time I enjoy, in getting to know another person – without judgment – and they haven’t spent the time to stop and understand their selves either.

So let’s have a look at energy. Energy is in everything, of everything, and in one place and everywhere at the same time; it is everything. The earth is full of it, animals live it, it is in plants, insects, rocks, sand, water, the stars, the moon, the universe, music, the human body…you…and I could go on forever more. Where is the scientific proof of this? Quantum physics is one obvious proof, and even engineering uses it, another is David Attenborough’s many videos on the earth, evolution, and animals, etc, and yet another is Albert Einstein with his famous E=MC2, oh for goodness sake, do I really have to spell it out? Without the energy of life, nothing would or could possibly exist. The problem that exists within humanity is that it thinks it is above that which created it – the energy of life. But I can tell you it is alive and well, thank you very much, and even though it can do without us, we cannot ‘do’ without it. This would suggest that the energy is intelligent; that it can make decisions and think. And it sure does! It does it through us – its creations!

But what is my message within all this? Well, its about the use and understanding of mindfulness. Mindfulness is all about discovering the mind, the cause of your life and the ability to experience your life within your own authenticity and uniqueness without being affected by the chastisement or judgment for being your difference within a world hell-bent on making you ‘normal’ or having to fit into someone else’s perception of what you should or shouldn’t be. My annoyance at being judged so unjustly is tempered by the fact that this person is also trapped within an error-ridden concept of mindfulness. And that is sad…really sad. But here’s the thing and it’s even sadder; so many others in this world today are also trapped within this limited concept of Mindfulness and consequently trapped within the world of normality that they have forgotten what and who they really are and now can’t express themselves in all honesty for fear of breaching ‘political correctness’  and all the other rules now in place to stop the freedom of speech, or more correctly, the freedom of expression.

Yep, mindfulness gives us the ability to be mindful of our words or how we express our selves to one another, yes mindfulness allows us to be in the present moment; that in itself is a fantastic thing to experience in a world of hustle, bustle, and stress. But don’t forget that mindfulness is about discovering the truth about self; discovering the energy that creates you every day without a worry in the world; it is the vehicle assisting you to discover you. If that isn’t something worth searching for, I don’t know what is – but then again – who am I?

 

Mindfulness to Enlightenment 101 Part 1

Published on by Tony Kane

“If a thing is true, there is a definite way in which it is true.”

Judge Thomas Troward

It has been taught in many spiritual circles not to take the physical world as meaningful or in some cases to deny it. This, in my view, is a major mistake; I believe that all physical existence is a very firm and corresponding manifestation of the thought which gave it birth; in fact one complements the other. Anyone who has studied mindfulness and the different layers of the practice, to which we can flow into within the mind, will soon begin to ask the same question so many others have asked, “From where do thoughts originate and how do we get rid of them?”; the simple truth is you can’t get rid of them, you work with them and their origin is from within the mind.

Thoughts can be as ‘solid’ as the material and physical world they have the opportunity to create and to deny them is just as harmful as denying the physical world. Denying the physical world is tantamount to creating a fantasy, in which nothing is real, and the same applies to the thoughts you are experiencing; they are real and attempting to teach you something about yourself that is extremely real. Fighting or denying them can only cause internal conflict and very painful mental harm.

Every human being is seeking to experience liberty and joy in life; within that liberty to joyously express their selves in their own authentic, loving, exciting and meaningful way. So many of us have never been shown or taught that we possess, buried deep inside, an intelligence just waiting to express itself through the body it inhabits. The thoughts we experience are the vital link to discovering the barriers or structures not allowing us the connection with Unconditioned Mind; the issue is not what you are thinking, but most definitely how you are processing them and/or coming up with the thoughts you are entertaining in the first place. Entering in communion with your Unconditioned Mind allows you automatically see a different picture than you normally would when you are thinking from your conditioning; it will automatically raise your intelligence to enable you to think yourself through the issues you are experiencing in the present moment. It becomes real and not a fantasy; something you actually possess in the real world.

Mindfulness practices are an excellent portal to access your Unconditioned Mind; there are four definite levels through which you can sink further and further into your ‘self’ or the mind to experience the Higher Intelligence you are worthy of being. It’s not hard to do; in fact it will be the easiest work you have ever done with the greatest benefit physically, mentally and spiritually.

One more thing: always – and I mean always – in seeking someone to assist you through the processes of mindfulness make sure you find someone who actually practices it themselves. I have had a number of people come to see me for assistance that have been badly damaged and hurt internally by those out there who have read a book or two or complicate the processes. It isn’t complicated, it isn’t overly spiritual, it doesn’t feel unnatural or in the realms of fantasy – it is easy to accomplish, uncomplicated and based upon your present experiences in the present moment. Raise your mind to that which you desire the most – the discovery of you – enjoy the uncomplicated expression of the intelligence you know you are; life will carry on but you will be the one in control of it…not the circumstances that seem to attack you.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Mindfulness to Enlightenment 101 in which we will journey through the 4 stages of Mindfulness, one by one, to experience the Unconditioned Mind.

The Journey Into Enlightenment

Published on by Tony Kane

 The Journey

The ideas and beliefs about Enlightenment or Spiritual Awakening have been tossed around the globe and written about for thousands of years; there are countless ancient texts and scriptures trying to explain it, or reveal a picture of it, and tempting to us into the experience of it. It may take years to discover it or a person may discover it within a fraction of a second through an experience that is normally labelled as ‘disastrous’ or ‘bad’ or even ‘good’. For many of us though, we trek through a maze of life experiences and still miss the point of life until we discover it minutes or seconds before the final departure from this life. It was never too late but the regret is still there right up until the last breath, after which all is revealed.

We started life as pure conscious beings, only aware that we were somehow alive and getting used to living in a body; then to progress through the years of living life and awkwardly losing sight of the conscious beings we still are but not aware of it; through those life experiences we somehow forgot the uncluttered and unconditional self. The overpowering drive to succeed and be normal in comparison to all around us; being a part of the journey to self discovery somehow became an internal war and added conditions and complications we had not expected. Striving to succeed, striving to impress those we thought cared, and striving to be loved and accepted; we lost sight of ourselves and strayed from our Truth.

The experiences and the striving itself, if we were only to understand them at the time, were placed, in that perfect moment, to remind us of our inner existence; the one that is so much more powerful and creative than the outer existence. The journey to enlightenment, if you desire it enough, becomes an understanding of all that you are in its entirety; the journey ceases and then becomes nothing but a series of experiences in the present moment, as time also seems to cease existing; your life takes on a different role to what you thought it would be. You cease being a spectator and become a fully integrated and functional creator of life as you so desire

The Journey ceases to be a Journey

Often described as a journey, enlightenment could be seen as a destination to arrive at in order to become something, but this is not the correct way to visualize or understand it at all. Enlightenment is not a destination in our minds that we have to journey to; enlightenment is already within the mind and can only be rediscovered by removing the mind from a very boisterous and loud thinking brain. When you are able to use your mind to observe the brain without joining in with the noise, you can sense yourself ‘dropping into’ a state of peace and calm but empty; the ability for you to remain focused on the emptiness will be the telling point; you won’t get there without persistent practice and desire. But the point to be made is at that time of ‘dropping into’ the emptiness, it will be fully understood that it wasn’t in any way a journey to any destination; the more you practice a meditation of observation, you will realize that a state of enlightenment was always there, it was just unrecognizable through the noise of thought and emotion.

From my own experience, there appears to be four natural progressions in which we participate in, whether we are aware of them or not:

  • Conscious to Unconsciousness: from the second we were conceived, carried and nurtured for nine months and then born to the world of form, we were conscious; we really had no thought running through our brains except that of learning how to eat, walk and run, and communicate our basic needs to those we sensed were our protectors and teachers. But as we began to interact with the world, we learnt that life had challenges we weren’t expecting; if we had no one to teach us the fundamentals of staying in touch with the inner and greater part of ourselves, we succumbed to a state of unconsciousness. This state of unconsciousness began a series of experiences not unlike that of a bad dream interlaced with some good times; this state is simply that we have forgotten what we really are and have come to an error of understanding – that we are now the experiences themselves. The experiences have created beliefs, values and morals that change like the wind; nothing appears stable.

 

  • Unconscious: we have now become completely unaware of our true essence as we immerse ourselves in thought and emotion. We fully believe we are the thoughts and emotions; within this we have a sense of being trapped in a life we didn’t sign up for. All experiences seem to repeat themselves mercilessly and in different ways but with the same result; more hardship. Everything we feel, both physically and emotionally, is the product of living a life resisting the truth of ourselves. The more we resist the truth, the worse life seems to be. But within this state, there is a knowing of bliss running in the background of our minds and as we become sick and tired of the continual rotation of bad dreams and experiences; our minds begin to seek a better truth and reach out for that bliss. As our beliefs, values and morals are challenged we experience a sense of utter shaking to the core of our existence; this is the beginning of the return if you only knew it. Some people never leave this state of unconsciousness because they have become complete slaves to what they perceive as normal; they have become comfortable with the sensation of uncomfortable; if unmoved from this state, they depart life in their regrets. This is the confusing bit of this state of mind, though; even though we may be unconscious in terms of the Inner Self or not consciously connecting to the greater part of our Truth, the Inner Self is always conscious and, through our experiences, is trying to lead us back to itself.

 

  • Conscious and Aware (Spiritual Awakening): if we have managed to get this far in our humanness, we slowly begin to acknowledge there was something wrong within ourselves and our own beliefs, values, morals and consequent actions to ourselves and others. The shaking continues as if the major inner earthquake has subsided but the aftershocks are still serious enough to shake our outer realization of life. At the same time, though, we are aware of an inner peace and calm and a return to that part of ourselves that is largely invisible to others but that which we are now beginning to reacquaint ourselves with. Thought and emotion now play a minor role in our decisions to live life in a certain way; we have become conscious and aware that there is something far bigger than ourselves (known as the Higher Self or the Christ) living in our bodies. Recreating life based upon the direction of the Higher Self (Heart Centered) now takes precedence over the uncontrolled ways of thought and emotion (Brain Centered). Most people stop here because life becomes relatively easy, a greater understanding of life and where it emanates from begins to unfold within and show itself to us in its synchronicity; this is a life based upon passion and desire with the rationale of new thought and understanding that unfolds from it. To stop here is okay, although you may discover an inner sensation to discover more; in this case take your time and allow it to gently envelope you; don’t rush this process as more damage can be done if you miss some of the steps the Higher Self will show you, than if you take your time and allow it to unfold naturally.

 

  • Enlightened: this is the state of ‘Being an Enlightened One’. You have discovered that your desires, needs and wants no longer exist. The full surrender to that which you know is the source of life is all you desire; but it is more than that too, the desire to fully surrender ceases to motivate you as you become enlightenment itself; surrender is not an option but now an automatic response. There is now no doubt about your ‘beingness’! You become the Intelligence and Wisdom of the ‘All’. Nothing else exists. You experience the knowing of nothing but you develop an understanding of it all. For example:
  • You cease to believe in love – you are it
  • You cease to believe in wealth – you become it
  • You cease to believe in power – you understand it
  • You cease to believe in peace – you experience it
  • You cease to believe in justice – you are the wisdom of it
  • You cease to believe in anything – you are it all and the experience of it all
  • You cease to believe in God – it becomes you as you surrender to it. You have no need for a god.
    “Gods greatest moment is the moment you realise you need no God” – Neale Donald Walsh quoted from Conversations With God

The outward manifestations of ‘being enlightened’ are not as spiritual as one may think. There is no need to think spiritually at all, in fact being enlightened becomes a very natural occurrence within the collaboration of body and mind. For example, if you have had issues revolving around the fear of anything, those fears begin to dissipate into thin air; you discover strength within you to be exactly what and who you are without any need or desire to prove yourself or embellish the truth of yourself to others. Because fear begins to ease, anxiety begins to diminish and as anxiety diminishes from your body you begin to live a healthier life physically, mentally and emotionally; anxiety begins to transmute into excitement for the future of your life. The effort to live transforms into one of ease no matter what the circumstances or events you are going through – whether good or bad it matters not; you have discovered your real and authentic self; you have discovered your truth and live it without a thought, and no words can possibly explain it.

If you feel this has made any impact on you especially with regard to anxiety, depression and desire a quality life outside of those fears, please feel free to call me on 0474 570 063 or email me at tonykanecounselling@gmail.com

Enlightenment: a degree of Perception

Published on by Tony Kane

Introduction

The energy of creation; that which creates everything we see as a solid thing or has taken form of some ‘thing’ or another including everything we can’t see, is pure, raw, focused and extremely intelligent; we have labeled it God, Source, Universe and a myriad of other names but all fall short of the true nature of it. It must be explained, though, that its intelligence is not that which we can understand unless our focused attention is put upon it. It rests upon a degree of perception.

Humanity, with the proper use of its body and mind is the extension of that pure, raw, focused and extreme intelligence. The issues of this world we live in; the wars, politics, religion, family issues, mental and physical sickness are a direct result of humanity forgetting and walking away from the very thing that created and gave it life in the first place; we have replaced an enlightened life with things of a spiritual nature simply because we now lack the truth and understanding of life itself; and yet it is clearly visible for all to see.

Enlightenment is not spiritual

The difference between a spiritual life, and the almost mindless and endless journey it involves, and a life enhanced by enlightenment is one in which the slightest change in a degree of perception will make the difference. The journey ceases in an instant and enlightenment takes its natural place within the human body; a life changes to one of peace, joy, eternal love, and creativity; focused and purposeful, our lives become one with creation and the energy that created it; humanity will eventually come back to discover its origin. This is not to say, though, that a spiritual life is incorrect; spirituality is the search for enlightenment but to believe that spirituality is the truth is the error and the same applies to religion. Spirituality is nothing but another degree of perception which can lead you to enlightenment or, because of an ego driven mind, may remain in the endless journey of spiritual discoveries that have no real meaning or life application at all. The most common expression I hear within spiritual circles is “I am God”, but within an enlightened life, God ceases to exist as you become one with it; in many cases, this process humbles the ego which it may like or not. As a person discovers enlightenment, the ego ceases to exist in its present form; a transmutation occurs as and when that person lets go of what they believe to be true.

The ‘presence’ of enlightenment is not as spiritual as one may think. It includes and involves the recognition of the physical body including the brain and the heart, and recognition of the mind and the discovery of what the mind actually is; the mind being the most misrepresented parts of the human physical system in most resent years.

The Mind

The mind, as currently taught by many, is that part of us that thinks, but this is where things go incredibly awry. Here is the first change of perception and possibly the most important! The mind does not think…it observes thought without any involvement with the thoughts at all. It also doesn’t feel anything; again, it only observes thought and feeling. The brain is there to create thoughts and the heart is there to create feelings felt within the body. The best description of the mind I have ever heard is “The mind is the energy that creates and manifests everything the body thinks, feels and believes to be true to about itself and to itself”. If you can visualize the human body as the lens of a magnifying glass and the mind as the ‘thing’ focusing it, as the suns energy passing through it, the mind focuses the body to create a flame using the energy of the sun; the more the magnifying glass (human body) is focused by the use of its mind the better the result, otherwise the suns energy is always out of focus and the result takes far longer to manifest, if at all.

This brings into question then, “What is the human mind?” It is that part of us that has always been one with the energy that creates all we see as form and solid; it is the focused energy I spoke about in the introduction; it is the pure, raw, focused and extremely intelligent energy that is outside of us, but condensing within the human body, giving it life. It is moving through us all the time; we are not it (that’s the ego making its self important) but it is us! That’s the same as the spiritual paradox which states “Man is not God; God is man”. Biblically, as Jesus stated “I am one with the Father and the Father is one with me”.

But just as the perception of Oneness applies to the energy that created ‘it all’, the same applies to the human body, all of its components and the mind that directs it. If we can’t bring it all together within ourselves then we suffer badly either physically and/or psychologically. I will repeat what I have stated “The first change of perception must be in relation to what we perceive the mind actually is”. How to change the perception of the mind requires a bit of reeducation and the practice of using it as it was meant to be used. The mind screams at us, at times, to allow it to come back home to what it actually is and this creates emotional and physical dysfunction. We are humans; living in frail bodies with an unlimited intelligence we have not experienced for thousands of years; the mind is one with that intelligence if only you could let go of what you believe. You will either allow yourself to experience it now (or in the present moment) or you will discover it while taking your last breath. Which is it to be?

It is a Challenge or a Calling?

That last statement was not meant to put fear into you; but it is more of a challenge. The challenge is this: “Will you live life to its fullest now, or will you wait until you have no choice?” I can say this with experience; you stand so much more to gain by losing all that you believe to be true. Most of what you lose you didn’t need anyway, but you will discover that what you retain will be expanded upon to such an extent that it takes on a completely different form of intelligence living within the brain. Life then becomes something to look forward to living; your physical body, brain and heart are now working in unison with the intelligence of creation; you have become enlightened. It isn’t as spiritual as you may have thought; it’s just a change of perception, with your mind now back where it wants to be; one and at peace with itself; it is calling you back!

What does that mean for you, living a real life in a real world? Complete freedom from and/or ease of emotional disturbances that are pulling you back into a life you don’t desire to live. In short, you reinvent your whole life; excitement to be alive, with the entire creativeness that you are, takes a definite hold. If you have a business or in a relationship that is suffering, you will breathe the life back into them that you experienced when you first created them; or you may be physically suffering some sort of ailment hindering the enjoyment of life and that too can be healed. It’s really not as spiritual as you may think and certainly not as inaccessible as you may have been experiencing. “Will you learn to live life to its fullest now, or will you wait until you have no choice?” “To be or not to be that is the question” (thanks William), what’s your choice?

I do understand how all of this works and you may be feeling the call to discover more about yourself and enjoying an enlightened life, if this is the case please feel free to contact me on 0474 570 063 or email me at tonykanecounselling@gmail.com.

Enlightenment

Published on by Tony Kane

The leap of faith

The Tao te Ching says:
He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened

Everyone,on one level or another, is searching for enlightenment; the state of mind and ‘beingness’ that transcends the apparent ugliness of the world we perceive. Enlightenment has been described as a journey; a journey of self examination in which we have to change everything we know and understand about ourselves; and possibly you may think that it is reserved for a select few. You can be forgiven if it sounds like a lot of hard work!

The truth is it isn’t a lot of hard work and it is not for a select few; you don’t have to suck on yoghurt, nor do you have to become a toothless yogi and renounce all your possessions and sit in an uncomfortable position for hours on end gazing at your navel to become enlightened; but by gaining enlightenment you will certainly experience a completely new perspective of life but most importantly your self. The only things you will need to sacrifice and renounce is your current beliefs; that which you have been taught is true and correct; or that which you think is keeping you safe. None of them exist but may have been working for you up until now. Change is the only constant in this world.

Enlightenment is a state of mind in which you begin to live a life from a completely different understanding and intellect; it changes your old thoughts (those ones that tell you what you think is true and probably unconscious of) into new and self empowering thoughts. If you knew how close you are to enlightenment right now, would you jump at the chance?

I get asked the obvious question “If enlightenment was that easy why isn’t everybody enlightened? “. The truth is this: You are already enlightened but you may not be conscious or aware of it. Enlightenment is such a personal thing; all you need to do is understand your present condition; stop fighting it (yourself). If you sat still long enough to create a bit of silence within your mind you’d discover that the silence itself is enlightened.

The biggest challenge is to silence the mind. And this is the fundamental error. You don’t have to silence the mind; it is already silent. Your brain is the one that makes all the noise; your mind is the one that observes it all; your powerful mind is the one you’ve been searching for all this time and maybe didn’t know it. I’ll repeat it: enlightenment is a state of mind. Discover your mind again and you discover enlightenment; be the enlightenment (live it) and you live your life as an ‘enlightened one’.

Your brain, your heart and your body is a technology that far out-reaches anything mankind (or humans if you’re wanting to be a bit PC) could possibly create. The mind is that part within you that is unconditioned and unseen. If it is focused upon the yelling and screaming of the brain then that is all it will be able to create in your external world. If it is focused upon the heart, it then begins to create “your hearts desires”. Attitudes change and with the change of attitude comes a change of the perception of your life; your thoughts will become things that you can work with and easier to focus upon . The path to enlightenment involves understanding the technology of the heart and brain and how it can either work for you or against you. This is probably the most difficult part of the journey because we have been taught a lot of stuff about the brain and the mind that is completely error ridden. But we believe it without question; therein lies the problem. We have forgotten to question the truth of some of the education we have received; to question and investigate a belief or our education is a right we seem to have forgotten; we, for the most part, have taken someone else’s ideas as fact without the process of investigation, we’ve become lazy and solely reliant on those who think they know, when maybe they don’t! Religion is a fine example! Cross the barrier of belief and question those teachings and you find you self being branded as a sinner; an outcast at least; our right to question our education has received the same treatment; how dare we question those that know! Maybe they only know in part and its all a theory? The inherent freedom of your mind is the beginning to your own enlightenment. There’s nothing wrong with education but it is your choice to question it or not; to accept without question is also your right but maybe doing you a lot of harm in the long run. And yes I’ve just had a rant; I’m not apologising for it!

Your enlightenment depends on your own ability to question every belief you have taught yourself (via experiences in life whether good or bad) or have been taught by others. This is the only mental exercise you need to follow at this stage. It takes time but as you begin to accept that there’s a flaw within those beliefs and values you hold so dear, you begin to open up the possibility that none of them matter anyway; in essence you are beginning to give your unconditioned mind a chance to show you something incredibly different and so much more enlightening; the more often you question the quicker the expansion. The ‘light bulb’ moments become more frequent.

The mind doesn’t think; that’s the job of the brain, and it doesn’t feel; that’s the hearts job. The mind is quite steady and impersonal as it observes everything; it is the energy that creates that which it is focused upon.

And here’s the thing; I don’t want you to take my word for it; if you’ve read this with an open mind or a closed one, it doesn’t concern me at all, I’d rather you experience it for your self; become your own mental scientist; allow your own inner discoveries, it’s a lot of fun! Your ‘self ‘ (that which you are) depends upon it. Know and Enjoy yourself!

If you feel you require help with any of this please do not hesitate to call or email me.

Tony Kane 0474 570 063

Email: tonykanecounselling@gmail.com