Enlightenment

The leap of faith

The Tao te Ching says:
He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened

Everyone,on one level or another, is searching for enlightenment; the state of mind and ‘beingness’ that transcends the apparent ugliness of the world we perceive. Enlightenment has been described as a journey; a journey of self examination in which we have to change everything we know and understand about ourselves; and possibly you may think that it is reserved for a select few. You can be forgiven if it sounds like a lot of hard work!

The truth is it isn’t a lot of hard work and it is not for a select few; you don’t have to suck on yoghurt, nor do you have to become a toothless yogi and renounce all your possessions and sit in an uncomfortable position for hours on end gazing at your navel to become enlightened; but by gaining enlightenment you will certainly experience a completely new perspective of life but most importantly your self. The only things you will need to sacrifice and renounce is your current beliefs; that which you have been taught is true and correct; or that which you think is keeping you safe. None of them exist but may have been working for you up until now. Change is the only constant in this world.

Enlightenment is a state of mind in which you begin to live a life from a completely different understanding and intellect; it changes your old thoughts (those ones that tell you what you think is true and probably unconscious of) into new and self empowering thoughts. If you knew how close you are to enlightenment right now, would you jump at the chance?

I get asked the obvious question “If enlightenment was that easy why isn’t everybody enlightened? “. The truth is this: You are already enlightened but you may not be conscious or aware of it. Enlightenment is such a personal thing; all you need to do is understand your present condition; stop fighting it (yourself). If you sat still long enough to create a bit of silence within your mind you’d discover that the silence itself is enlightened.

The biggest challenge is to silence the mind. And this is the fundamental error. You don’t have to silence the mind; it is already silent. Your brain is the one that makes all the noise; your mind is the one that observes it all; your powerful mind is the one you’ve been searching for all this time and maybe didn’t know it. I’ll repeat it: enlightenment is a state of mind. Discover your mind again and you discover enlightenment; be the enlightenment (live it) and you live your life as an ‘enlightened one’.

Your brain, your heart and your body is a technology that far out-reaches anything mankind (or humans if you’re wanting to be a bit PC) could possibly create. The mind is that part within you that is unconditioned and unseen. If it is focused upon the yelling and screaming of the brain then that is all it will be able to create in your external world. If it is focused upon the heart, it then begins to create “your hearts desires”. Attitudes change and with the change of attitude comes a change of the perception of your life; your thoughts will become things that you can work with and easier to focus upon . The path to enlightenment involves understanding the technology of the heart and brain and how it can either work for you or against you. This is probably the most difficult part of the journey because we have been taught a lot of stuff about the brain and the mind that is completely error ridden. But we believe it without question; therein lies the problem. We have forgotten to question the truth of some of the education we have received; to question and investigate a belief or our education is a right we seem to have forgotten; we, for the most part, have taken someone else’s ideas as fact without the process of investigation, we’ve become lazy and solely reliant on those who think they know, when maybe they don’t! Religion is a fine example! Cross the barrier of belief and question those teachings and you find you self being branded as a sinner; an outcast at least; our right to question our education has received the same treatment; how dare we question those that know! Maybe they only know in part and its all a theory? The inherent freedom of your mind is the beginning to your own enlightenment. There’s nothing wrong with education but it is your choice to question it or not; to accept without question is also your right but maybe doing you a lot of harm in the long run. And yes I’ve just had a rant; I’m not apologising for it!

Your enlightenment depends on your own ability to question every belief you have taught yourself (via experiences in life whether good or bad) or have been taught by others. This is the only mental exercise you need to follow at this stage. It takes time but as you begin to accept that there’s a flaw within those beliefs and values you hold so dear, you begin to open up the possibility that none of them matter anyway; in essence you are beginning to give your unconditioned mind a chance to show you something incredibly different and so much more enlightening; the more often you question the quicker the expansion. The ‘light bulb’ moments become more frequent.

The mind doesn’t think; that’s the job of the brain, and it doesn’t feel; that’s the hearts job. The mind is quite steady and impersonal as it observes everything; it is the energy that creates that which it is focused upon.

And here’s the thing; I don’t want you to take my word for it; if you’ve read this with an open mind or a closed one, it doesn’t concern me at all, I’d rather you experience it for your self; become your own mental scientist; allow your own inner discoveries, it’s a lot of fun! Your ‘self ‘ (that which you are) depends upon it. Know and Enjoy yourself!

If you feel you require help with any of this please do not hesitate to call or email me.

Tony Kane 0474 570 063

Email: tonykanecounselling@gmail.com

The Oneness of Self, Nature and Humanity

Introduction

Public opinion does not endure a theory that does not work in practice. Probably more now than ever before, humanity demands proof of even its highest ideals; for ultimate satisfaction, each person on this planet must find a principle that provides a way of life, whether it be agreeable or not but it must be a principle that can experienced as true and real.

Religion, in most forms, has denied a sense of reality to mankind and in many ways so has the broad spectrum of the New Age spiritual movement. In so many of their forms, each one has swung from extreme to extreme and from the sublime to the ridiculous, leaving many who had been involved, and hoping for a better life, less inspired and angrier than they had previously experienced. Freedom to think and express one’s self and experience life as a person desires has been stripped from so many individuals who have been told “You must live life this way or face the penalty”. Society has been dumbed down and therefore come under the rule of those who appear to have much and lose much. The basic ideal of oneness has been replaced with a conditioned belief of separateness and power over another. Humanity struggles with itself to find a place of pure freedom; it is at war with itself in its effort to create peace.

The collective focus of humanity is on what it thinks is real in the world today; it is conscious of the possibility of war, conscious of poverty, conscious of everything that is harming the earth and everything on it. And this is the bottom line; most of humanity believes that whatever it experiences via its natural senses must be real and therefore continues to play itself out to an end it doesn’t desire; it’s almost as if humanity has lost its ability to change what it thinks and make itself conscious of a completely different reality. And then there are others who dare to dream of a different reality; one of peace, harmony, oneness and love; each one not taken seriously by main stream society because “these people are crazy to even think of such a thing”. These people are often isolated by society or they isolate themselves; driven into deep states of depression ending in suicide or locked up in institutes because they cannot live in such a hostile world created by those who have no understanding of peace, love and oneness; and yet they are the ones we should be listening to; they have either been beaten into submission and no longer feel their purpose in life or have given up and desire to leave humanity to its destructive ways. The destruction created by humanity is its lack of understanding of its self; it has forgotten what it is and it now follows ideals it can hardly believe in or continue to create; it wants peace and prosperity while creating war and poverty at the same time.

Perception and Belief

Mankind, it seems, is very quickly, coming to a point of implosion; but we have understood this for many years without taking heed. It believes it is bigger than life and nature itself; it has forgotten it is life itself and therefore all of nature. It is all a matter of perception and belief. It has forgotten the truths of the mind and body; in doing so it has forgotten the truth of its own creation.

Perception in ones brain is created by the 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch) which only notice what is happening outside of the body; these send messages to the brain which then creates a perception of the outside world based upon what the brain already knows (knowledge of past experiences); if the brain has no past knowledge to help make sense of the current experience (or partial knowledge) it will seek elsewhere for a rational answer whether it is correct or not; it will become open for interpretation by the one perceiving the experience.

Because of the supposed reality of the perceived experience, the brain then forms a belief (a pattern of thinking) of the reality which the mind then can be focused upon whether it is a healthy belief or not. And this is the cause of many of the issues facing humanity. It really has no idea of the truth it perceives and the mind that creates it. If we had no senses to rely upon; no sight, no hearing, no taste, no smell and no touch then what would perception be? The brain would have nothing to rely upon for any information and therefore perception would either not exist or it would be completely different; the most important part of this is that the perception of self would be ‘no-thing’. To explain this better, with any type of perception, the brain always desires to create a ‘form’ of some thing; it has to have something solid to base its opinions and perceptions upon; if it has no perception of itself it then has no choice but to seek information from within because it has no perception of anything outside itself.

Consciousness and the Mind

Because of its perceptions, created purely from an external source (the 5 senses), mankind has become conscious only of its surroundings and the experiences it creates. In a very real way it has lost consciousness; it has become trapped within an illusion of its own making; although with that being said, mankind is beginning to reconnect with its own consciousness; moving away from what has been deemed as normal; it is beginning to break free from its phobias of the past.

It seems that, generally speaking, mankind has forgotten it has a mind of its own and that this mind is the most powerful part of its being. The mind is not what we think; it is the observer of what we think; as it observes and becomes focused upon what it observes, it creates. If it is focused upon the past, the past experience is all it will create; if it is focused upon the perception of the world the brain has received, that perception of the world is all it will create. There needs to be a conscious change of perception; not so much on what we think we already know but upon what we truly desire. This will take a shift of consciousness; off the world and into self. Each one of us can achieve this state of consciousness just by acknowledging desire, where desires come from and knowing that the focused mind can and will change all that we perceive.

Aristotle was quoted as saying “The energy of the mind is the essence of life” and Tesla was quoted “The Gift of Mental Power comes from God, Divine Being, and if we focus our minds on that truth, we become in tune with this great Power”. Both great minds, one ancient and the other very recent but the message is the same; our minds are the energy of life and the power of it comes with the ability to focus upon it and then to focus it upon desire. This can only be found within self; within you! For centuries, Christian teachers of the Bible have extolled the virtues and teachings of Jesus and I’m wondering what they didn’t get when he said “The kingdom of heaven is within you”, and again “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.” This message is repeated so many times throughout the whole Bible but seemed to have been completely misunderstood. Yes, the Bible holds many secrets to the Truth but Religion has taken its power away from mankind for whatever reason that seemed necessary at the time; mainly to control the freedom and power of the masses. When it comes to the Bible, all I’m saying is don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

But to get back to the power of the mind, you need to understand that the mind doesn’t think; it observes thought and is the power behind creating life for you based upon whatever your brain habitually thinks. The mind is silent; it is the brain that makes all the noise. To learn to become your own mind instead of someone else’s is your prime target in life; the mind is akin to “The Spirit of God” (Genesis) and the power or energy of the mind is God, the creator. That’s right; both are the same but with different jobs to do. The Spirit of God (mind without thought) provides God (the energy of the mind) with the motivation and direction to carry out exactly what Spirit of God desires; the kingdom of heaven in action. As and when you cease taking any notice of your current worldly perceptions and the thoughts you entertain because of those perceptions, you will begin to become aware of a different type of thinking; thoughts that have a creative but positive power of their own, coming from within; your perceptions will change.

Mankind is at the beginning of such an important stage of change or evolution; it is the beginning of expanded consciousness. Yes, some would say that this has been happening now for decades and I fully agree. But as we progress further in time, there seems to be an urgency that is shortening our perspective of the time we have left; things are moving along faster more now than ever to some sort of explosive culmination; this is the transition. This transition will take on many forms; some will appear good and some not so great; but it is up to each individual to become aware of their patterned behaviours, beliefs and values, and discard them to discover an expanded consciousness throughout this transition. Those old patterned beliefs and ancient prejudices will not work in this world anymore; sexism of any sort, homophobia, racism, abuse of any type, all those beliefs that cause separation are slowly being brought out into the light of day and we are being forced to deal with them. The choice is to accept them, the wrong they have caused and create a change within, or we can deny it all and die in our own shame; although the temptation is to become so extreme in our decisions to do the correct thing, we become ‘politically correct’ which is just another form of denial favouring looking good rather than discovering the truth and actually living it.

On Facebook we can consciously connect to other peoples dramas and unconsciously bring them into our experience of life; the very same thing happens while watching the news or any type of media; it is bringing drama into our consciousness that we really don’t need, although if you have the ability to disconnect from the drama and come back to self then you’re doing okay. But for many people, the ability to disconnect is almost impossible and therefore the drama begins to play out in their own lives from their own perception of life. This may sound crazy to some, but just like the internet which can only exist in ether; it’s not physical to start with but takes a form of reality on phones and computers but still doesn’t exist until it is consciously focused upon by the one viewing it; at that time it becomes real. Life is much the same; as soon as we begin to focus on anything outside of ourselves it will begin to take a form based upon the perception of it. Such is the power of the focused mind. The process needs to be one of being able to release your mind from the perceived drama and come back to self or your own mind. Let others create their own world without you being consciously involved in it so that you can create yours the way you like.

Again, just like the internet, TV, and other forms of media, it is all energy taking a form of one type or another; our minds are the same type of energy but it is the ‘thing’ that transforms that particular energy into a solid form; it transforms no’ thing’ into some ‘thing’. We can control it or not; we can make a perception real and solid or we can let it go and focus our transformative energy of the mind on something far better. It’s all a psychological drama created by the pre-programmed brain which is unconsciously focused upon by the conscious and creative energy of the mind.

Mankind has taken more notice of the world around it than it has of itself; this has been the problem all along and somehow we need to get back to the reality of ourselves and the ability to create a better world through the use of a very intelligent but silent and powerful mind. Everyone can do this, even you! At the beginning of this narrative I suggested that mankind cannot endure a theory that does not work in practice; it needs solid proof! The practice of meditational mindfulness is the proof the theory works; the experience of being your mind rather than being your thoughts is the only proof you require.

Oneness and the Mind

Humanity sees and creates a perception after it receives the relevant information through its 5 senses, which in essence creates a perception of ‘different’ or a perception of ‘separateness; “I am different to them because I am white/black etc” or “They are bad/ugly/poor/rich etc” or “I am not as good as them” are good examples of creating difference or separateness and it obviously gets worse than this. It takes a lot of judgment about others and self to come up with these perceptions; but they are only perceptions based upon what the brain has been taught. The mind on the other hand makes no differentiation and knows it is not separate from anything because it is the same energy that created everything in the first place; so as one connects to the mind and consciously becomes it, this person will not perceive any separateness at all; in fact the person who applies him/herself in the understanding and operation of their mind will discover that the same mind that they observe with is the exact same energy and mind that all others are operating under. To know and understand the mind, where it comes from and how it works is the first and foremost task of all human beings; without this basic knowledge all humanity is in darkness or unconsciousness; all hell reigns and all hell is created; everything becomes separated and disjointed with no cohesion of unified thought or peace.

John Lennon hinted at the ability to ‘imagine’ all that humanity is seeking and desiring; everyone thought the song was great but not many were able to see the truth in the ability to create what he saw and sung about. Imagination is a power of the brain that the heart and mind takes notice of more than thought.

Imagination and the Mind

The imagination is extremely vivid given the chance. Have you ever stopped thinking long enough to observe what each thought is creating in your imagination? Try it; you may be surprised to ‘see’ each thought creating a picture or video that your mind is focusing upon. Now have a look at the outer manifestation of your lives; do your lives and the way you live it match your imaginations or the imagined scenarios in your head? Your imagination is one of the most powerful gifts of the brain you possess; between the feelings of your heart and your imagination lays the secret to becoming one with self, nature and humanity. The imagination can be used to produce a subjective picture that will assist the heart to feel whatever it is you want to feel; once the mind continuously focuses on the feelings and picture, you will begin to sense that you are already that which you desire to be; the mind will set about creating the subjective picture and feelings into reality; it becomes an objectified truth; you will live it in reality.

The Technology of thought, feeling and mind.

Thoughts and feelings go hand in hand; one creates the other. There is a certain quality hidden inside of all men, women and children that remains silent but extremely understanding and powerful; to acquire this silent being you don’t have to struggle stopping the thinking brain; all you need to do is observe the brain and its goings on; you don’t need to stop any feelings; just observe them. The observer is this quiet, understanding powerful being; it is wanting to know what it is you desire; this being is the invisible you (your spirit if you like). The technology of the brain, heart and body is at your ‘beings’ command.

Many people have the greatest difficulty trying to access their Inner Being; their True Self. If you are interested in being your True and Authentic Powerful Self please contact Tony on 0474570063 or email tonykanecounselling@gmail.com.

Meditation & Becoming The Observer

The Problem: Being Unaware of Thought

The problem is not what we think and not that we think; thinking is easy and we connect with our thoughts without a moment’s notice.

“Thinking is easy and we do it all the time without even knowing we are thinking”

Within this statement is the secret of reconnecting with our reality as beings of creation.

  1. Thinking is easy. This part of the statement is fairly obvious. It’s easy! Too damned easy!  But we do it all the time and there’s no way you are going to stop it. Yes you can slow it down but to try to stop it is almost impossible unless you’re really good at being mindful and have been meditating for a number of years, in which you consciously stop your thoughts and enable consciousness and awareness. But the plain fact it is that most who try meditation find it extremely difficult, haven’t got the time or find it an arduous task. Or we’ve become lazy!
  2. Because thinking is real easy, so many people aren’t aware they are thinking in the first place. Awareness is the ability to know when you are thinking; it’s not necessarily the content that is the issue; although without some sort of awareness of what thoughts are being processed, depending on the person, some thoughts may be extremely damaging.
  3. Then there are those who have become addicted to thought and can’t or won’t release themselves from their thought life. They have completely identified with their thoughts and believe this is who and what they really are. In this state of mind, all sense of personal power has been lost and everything external becomes a powerful and uncontrollable force in which there is no ease of living. Life becomes exhausting, a drudge, boring and in most cases, a huge fight for existence. They have become victims to themselves and no-one else.

This is: “I think therefore I am” in which your thoughts become your creation.

An Awareness Exercise to Try

Being ‘Aware’ is, most definitely being aware that you are thinking. It goes further than this though, in that, the object of the exercise is to become aware that you are the awareness. The more you sense that you are the awareness, you will sense a freedom and greatness within you that has no connection to your thinking at all. (Please don’t try this while you are driving or focusing on an activity that may cause injury. Pick a time that is relaxing and comfortable for you in which you are doing nothing. This time is for you and you alone)

1)      At any time during the day or night, stop what you are doing whatever it may be. Allow your thoughts to materialize.

2)      Observe them without entertaining them or connecting with them. Don’t judge or label them. Just observe them.

3)      Now, ask yourself “Who is the observer of my thoughts?”

4)      Once you have sensed or located the feeling of being the observer, focus on it (the observer). The observer is Awareness; you have connected with awareness itself and the awareness is the real you, without being interfered with by thought.

It’s almost like looking through the window of your mind, knowing that the mind and its thoughts are not the real you; the real you is the one looking through the window; Awareness itself.

Meditation

Meditation does the same thing if followed correctly. If you have a quick observation of the above exercise, you may notice it is a form of meditation with your eyes open or while you are doing things in the here and now. Meditation in the here and now is the most important ingredient to discover awareness of self.

Attempting to create a world by imagining positive scenarios is nice and one way of connecting with your desires but does nothing, on its own, to create an awareness of self, if that’s as far as it goes. In a way, you’re in a dream state without the ability to create your dream; it has the potential of becoming a frustration and the death of a perfectly valid and potential way of life (your life being the one dreamt of).

One of the best ways to create your dream is to view it in meditation but as the observer (as in the exercise above) or as the awareness of your dreamt of life. The observer or awareness of the dream is power and creation energy in itself. It is the one behind everything, making it possible to create your dreams.

I have always asked myself “Do I want the dream or do I want to be the ‘creation energy’ itself to create the dream?” In itself, the dream is nothing but a desire that is pointing you back to the origin of creation; the origin of creation is within you and not within the dream. My answer has always been to discover the origin of creation and not worry about the dream because I know the origin of creation already knew about the dream anyway; the origin of creation is the energy that runs through you right now. It doesn’t stop because you cease to become aware of it. It is always there, always has been and always will be. It is you; but you are not it and that is the issue most people have to deal with. Another way of saying this is: “You are not creation in itself but creation in and of itself is you”; you can’t become it, you become aware of it because it is already you. It is a paradox that may not make any sense at all unless you are beginning to understand ‘Awareness’ of yourself. Another very apt paradox to contemplate is: “Everything that you desire to be can only be found in the nothing that you are”.

The Here and Now

Paradoxes have a way of confusing the mind and bringing us into the here and now. Another way to understand the ‘Here and Now’ is through the use of the word ‘Presence’. Presence is being aware and conscious of ‘Now’. It is the only thing that exists outside the mind. The mind will attempt to keep us within the past or create a future based on known events (memories) that have happened in our lives whether they are good or bad; it then tries to create a future based on those same events, none of which exist in the present moment; the ‘Now’ moment. To experience life outside those thoughts of past and future is to experience the only thing that exists; the Present Moment or ‘Presence’ itself.

There has been a lot of confusing information regarding how to experience ‘Presence’ but the answer is actually fairly simple. As and when you decide to experience being the observer of your world; that is, the thoughts and dreams you are having which are being created by the mind; or become awareness itself, you have automatically walked into Presence. You quite literally become Presence in that minute moment of time. The longer you practice being awareness the longer presence sticks around.

This is “I am therefore I think” in which all creation exists and becomes your thought.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and have been able to remind yourself of the creation that you are. Your perfection, your life and all that is available to you can only be found within you; have fun with the ‘Awareness Exercise’ and discover yourself. You may be interested in The Happiness Project in which all the above is taught and in which the participants, very easily, learn to become aware and conscious of creation itself.

Self Awareness

The Body

Self Awareness is not something that comes without a bit of work but you can begin to be aware relatively quickly. The starting point, of course is to begin to be aware of your ‘self’. Throughout history, there have been so many teachers and sages pointing to a separate ‘me’ which is permanent and more real than the ‘me’ that is perceived as being the body, including the thoughts and feelings being experienced within the physical body.

Try this and you will see what I mean:

  • Go to a mirror and observe your body for a few minutes.
  • While you are observing your body, look into the eyes of your image in the mirror
  • Now ask yourself (either quietly or aloud) “Is this my body?”
  • Now, who asked the question? Your body or something else that exists within your body?
  • Who or what is observing your body? Who is the observer and what is being observed?

This would suggest that at the moment the question was asked, whatever owns the body is not the body. And the body is not a permanent entity; it changes over a period of time and finally ‘gives up the ghost’.

Thoughts and Feelings

What about thoughts and feelings; aren’t they the ‘me’ or ‘I’? They may seem that way; in fact they may seem more ‘me’ than the body; but the truth of the matter is that thoughts and feelings come and go just like the body, and most of them are not our own or not under our control. The ego is affected by these thoughts and feelings, but the thoughts and feelings are a process of the brain and essentially not solid or real; they have no form. If thoughts and feelings are not real, then it would suggest that the ego is not a ‘thing’ in and of itself; it cannot be destroyed nor should it be considered for destruction.

The identification with thought, feelings and body is the issue that keeps us from being aware of the real self. When you become aware of the silence between thoughts; focusing on the silence, you will become aware of awareness itself; you will become aware of your real self. If you have been able to experience the ‘Mirror Image’ process above, you will have begun a process of ‘consciousness’ or awakening.

The Self that is No Thing

After experiencing the above process a few times, you will, hopefully, get a sense of being an observer; observing your body (physical) and, with a bit of focus off your mind, observing your thoughts and feelings (mental); almost as if they are not the ‘you’ you thought you were; but you are living in a body that looks the way it does and it experiences thoughts and feelings that can be observed but not have to be entertained or argue with.

The observer is what I call the ‘Natural State’. For you, enlightenment may only go as far as this level of consciousness, but there is more yet. As I understand it, if you have experienced separation from your body and thoughts, you are experiencing your Natural State otherwise known as your Ego free from external influences; some know this as spirit or essence of self. This is the way you were born before you were taught to think and allowed your thoughts to take you away from your essence. It has no form but lives within one (your body); it has no identification with anything apart from itself. It is no ‘thing’ but it is the real you.

Once awareness and consciousness is activated within a person the realization that all things are a part of the aware self and not separate from it becomes very apparent; in fact the aware self is the creation of all things but knows it is not creation itself. To intellectually understand this, it has to become a discovery via experience only. No words and no thought can adequately explain any of it.

But Wait! There’s More!

The more you step back and discover space or silence, the more conscious of consciousness you become aware of; you become consciousness itself. Consciousness itself is that energy we have inadequately called God. God, from my point of view, is Creation itself. It needs to be understood, if you haven’t understood it yet, that God is an energy that pervades everything that exists, has existed, and is yet to exist, which includes yourself. God/Creation is moving through you right now and is conscious of all your thoughts and feelings, actions and reactions. So apart from stepping back from your body, thoughts and feelings, you can step back from your ‘Natural State’ and become aware of the power of consciousness and creation that you are. Once completed, you come to the realization that because you are creation, there is no need to concern yourself with the issues that are outside of yourself that create anxiety, depression, illness and dis-ease within the body. They are there but cease to exist within you.

Creation is your right

You can then begin to create your life the way you have always dreamt. Your dreams have always been the indication of what and who you actually are. You have probably been chasing them; some have been created but then again maybe not. As you begin to become conscious and aware that you are creation, you will discover the understanding and knowledge that you are the dream right now. You begin to create your desires as if they were actually happening in the present moment. For most people this in itself is a dream; that is because they have not been able to step back from themselves to discover what they rightfully are. Most get disheartened and give up living a life of ‘boring normality’. If this is you, you need to know that you have as many chances to begin the process of creation any time you want. Right now is a great time! Never give up!

It doesn’t stop

As you become aware of your very powerful self, you will also discover your authenticity. You will become what you are and who you are; your ego will happily portray to the outside world that which you know is the real you, without any care or hang ups about what others think. You exit the ‘matrix’ and enter reality, affecting the world around you in extremely positive ways. You will become fully aware that the world and everything in it, including other people around you are connected to you through creation; you become one with creation and the rest of creation becomes one with you; no separation at all.

Relationships begin to heal

During my counseling with couples, I have taught couples to be aware and conscious of themselves and not necessarily too much of each other; this brings each partner into an awareness of themselves as creation and love; the two major foundations of all relationships. I have witnessed the relationship itself take on new life as each step of awareness comes into being within each partner. As each step is followed, new life begins to pour from each partner to each other. Healing within each partner takes place and therefore the relationship follows the healing. Not only does the relationship heal, but if there are any children involved, they too become participants and are healed of any damage created by the dysfunctional relationship. The partners become one with creation and each other, simply because they now know they are one and always have been; no separation! Rather than being ‘in love’ with each other, you are fully aware that you ‘are love’ with each other.

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this and have been able to remind yourself of the creation that you are. Your perfection, your life and all that is available to you can only be found within; have fun with the ‘Mirror Image’ process and discover yourself. You may be interested in The Happiness Project (click on link) in which all the above is taught and in which the participants, very easily, learn to become aware and conscious of themselves as creation. I leave you with a little poem written by Kalu Rinpoche:

“We live in illusion and the appearance of things.

There is a reality, we are that reality.

When you understand this, you will see “you” are nothing.

And, being nothing, you are everything.

 

 

 

“Just Back Off”

I’ve discussed the issue of men and their perceived “fears and weaknesses” and how it’s impacting on their lives but before I go into that in a detailed way, I want to discuss one of the major reasons why relationships blow up in the first place. And this is important and not to be taken lightly.
If you have a good look at your life, and any problem associated with it, you may find that you are looking at things and people as the ones that define who you are. In other words you are missing the most important ingredient in life. You! Maybe, if I can explain it this way; there was an advert on TV a few years back in which two lovers were sitting on the couch and discussing what they meant to each other and the young women made this comment “I love him…he…just completes me in every way (with the fluttering eye leashes)” and the guy was looking fairly pleased with himself. Yeh, it was a spoof type ad, but it is so completely wrong in its message. But this is how we live our relationships within the exterior world, including our relationships with our partners and family.
What it actually infers is that we are not complete until we have what we want…on the outside. I’ve asked many clients (in fact it’s a stock question I ask), “Do you know who you are?” and the common answer is a blank look and a puzzled expression with the answer being one of these two:
“I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it before” or
“Well, I do this for a job and I have two kids and I own a boat, a jet ski, and I love listening to Pink Floyd when I get a bit stoned, and my wife well she’s devoted to me, etc”.
The first answer I like…at least it’s honest. The second answer is a misunderstanding of the question. The second answer is only telling me what you do and what you’ve got. Not who!! It’s a common mistake but a serious one. Actually, both answers are serious, for obvious reasons. Firstly if you don’t know who you really are then you’re lost…or incomplete…insecure. Secondly, if you think that “who you are” is associated with what you do and what you’ve got, you are also very much in danger. What happens when you lose your job, lose the boat and Jet Ski and the wife and kids make a run for it (because they will if you’re like this)? Your sense of self (or who you think you are) disappears…you become lost…insecure…and incomplete.
We have a tendency to look at the outside world as if is our “Savior”. But in the relationship, we do the same thing. We can look at our partners as if “they will complete me”. You may disagree with me but hear me out first. If you need someone else in a relationship to complete you, then you are automatically admitting that you’re incomplete (that’s the first bit), and when that “perfect someone else” says something wrong does something without your knowledge or permission or just happens to have a sideways glance at a pair of legs walking past or a muscle mutt walking by…all hell breaks loose…because now…you don’t feel completed. In fact, now you feel jilted, insecure and jealous. The next thing to follow are the accusations and the projection of guilt. Rationality has now left the building, and the slinging match begins until someone breaks…and maybe some things! Please understand this…no one has the remote possibility of completing you…because you already are complete…you just don’t know it yet.
To know yourself; that is to say, to know what and who you are, and understand where that “what and who” comes from is the most self empowering knowledge you can have. Many say that this is a spiritual thing but I don’t think it is. Yes it is called “enlightenment” but it is a fact, and once you dive inside yourself and discover yourself, you will come to a very quick understanding that no thing or person can define who and what you are. You will discover your authenticity and create a new reality for your life from that paradigm.
Now, I’m pointing this at men, but ladies this goes for you too. In a relationship sense, if you look at the relationship as an investment. Each of you owns a 50% share holding in that investment. And that “share” is YOU, and you are each responsible for the upkeep and maintenance of that share. The upkeep and maintenance of that share is the commitment to discovering your own authenticity. Otherwise you remain exactly as you are and stagnate…that stagnation translates into the relationship.
Relationships are meant to grow and transform…not stagnate. They stagnate because there is no growth in either one or both partners. As soon as one partner becomes “enlightened” to the fact that their partner is not growing, they try to help the situation. It is really NOT about you helping the “significant other” maintain themselves…that’s their issue not yours. You are there to support them in whatever way you can to maintain themselves…but you are not there to help them do it. The very second you enter into helping them; you are entering into a sacred area of life where angels themselves would fear to tread! And you will come out burnt nearly every time.
Supporting the other is very different from helping. Just think on this for a few minutes and hopefully you’ll get it. When you decide to get your hands dirty and “help” your partner with an issue, you have (believe it or not) judged them and their issue and have already, in your own mind, come up with a solution that’s all good…for you! They have had no part in this decision making at all. That’s what you call “controlling”! Yeh, I know….that’s not what you wanted to do, it’s ok…it’s a mistake that many of us do because we love the other. Supporting your partner is so completely different. Supporting them is really seeing the best and believing the best in your partner (not seeing their faults) and just being there, comforting, encouraging, maybe holding them and allowing the tears to fall on your shoulder (with ya mouth firmly shut!) and your total focus on knowing how fantastic they are for dealing with their issue in the first place (again with your mouth firmly shut!)…your actions of tenderness, care, love and support will speak so much louder than anything you could possibly say. Or they may just want some time out to be alone and think…allow that!!! It’s not about you. I’ve met a lot of couples who do this and they have an amazing relationship, albeit, they still have their low times. They have learnt to grow through it, not entertain it and drown in it. So the question may pop up “What the hell are we doing that’s so wrong?” Well, these “successful” couples have learnt, somewhere in life, that they don’t “need” each other to have a loving relationship. They have learnt the importance of allowing their loved ones time out to maintain themselves. There is no fear, judgment, jealousy and lack of trust. They know that to expect their partner to complete them is causing so much added stress to them…and those expectations are insane. They know that it’s a recipe for disaster for the relationship, and they love their partner so much, all they seek is their partners’ freedom by seeking it within themselves first. I’m not writing this from a “viewers” perspective though, I write this from pure experience. I’ve been in exactly the same position as you and I can tell you now, that to begin to understand the “what and who you are” inside of you only, will change your whole perspective on life, including all your relationships. The seemingly impossible starts to happen and that is the miracle. You are it!!!
I’ll leave it there and hopefully you will understand what I’m banging on about.
If you want to get in touch here’s my phone number and email. Or just fill out the form below and Ill be in touch. Thanks for reading.
Mobile: +61 474 570 063 or email: tony@tonykanecounselling.com

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